I Dream of Jeannie: The Apocalypse
by hendrick
Summary: Dr. Bellows and General Schaeffer discover the truth about Jeannie and Major Nelson begins to appreciate the extent of Jeannie's powers. Can he take over the world without destroying it?


Dr. Bellows walked up to Major Nelson's house and rang the doorbell. Major Nelson immediately popped out and closed the door behind him.

"Hello, Dr. Bellows," said the Major. "What brings you here today?"

"Good morning, Major Nelson," replied Dr. Bellows. "May I come in?"

"No, Dr. Bellows, the house is a mess. I can't let anyone in right now."

"Nonsense, Major. I don't mind," said Dr. Bellows trying to push his way in.

"Please, sir," said Major Nelson, but Dr. Bellows managed to slip past him into the house. Except he wasn't inside the house. Dr. Bellows found himself standing in a vast desert. There were a few camels and a tent some distance away.

"I can explain," said a panicky Major Nelson. "Roger and I are working on an experiment…"

Dr. Bellows immediately whipped out a polaroid camera from inside his jacket and snapped a picture. He abruptly turned and exited through the front door which was the only part of the house which was visible from inside. Before Major Nelson could stop him, Dr. Bellows hurried over to General Schaeffer's house which happened to be right next door. Major Nelson went after him. He caught up with Dr. Bellows at the General's front door just as Schaeffer was opening it.

"What in blazes is going on here?" exclaimed the General.

"I've got him this time," said Dr. Bellows.

"You've got to hand over that camera," said Major Nelson. Ignoring him, Dr. Bellows pulled out the photo which was now ready. General Schaeffer eyed the picture of Major Nelson standing before the desert.

"Dr. Bellows," said General Schaeffer wearily. "This is just Major Nelson in a desert. What do you mean you've got him."

"But, General," replied Dr. Bellows. "This desert was in the middle of his house."

"Doctor, have you been drinking?" asked the General.

"Certainly not," answered the Doctor. "Come with me and see for yourself."

"Every time you do this it turns out to be a wild goose chase," said General Schaeffer. "Now get off my property or I'll call the looney bin and bust you to major." Dr. Bellows put his camera in his jacket and looked at Major Nelson. "This isn't over," he warned before stomping to his car.

"Major," said Gereral Schaeffer. "Come inside." They both went into the house with the door closed behind them. General Schaeffer looked up at him.

"So, Major," he said. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"About what, Sir?" replied Major Nelson.

"You know about what. Explain this desert."

"Surely you don't think that's a picture from inside my house."

"I don't know what to think. I know that as long as I've known you, there have been some strange things going on with you. Now explain to me why the inside of your house is a desert."

"That wasn't my house."

General Schaeffer's white mustache twitched. "Don't make this hard for me. I know your house was turned into a desert and I want to know why." Major Nelson swallowed as a drop of sweat flowed down his brow.

"There was an experiment with Roger…"

"Try again, Major. I've heard your stories about experiments with Major Healy. You are going to tell me about the desert and all the other strange things going on right now. That's an order."

"There's nothing to tell."

"Major, this is getting tiresome. I have seen things happen that simply cannot be explained. I think there may even be a national security issue here. Now if you don't tell me what I want to know, I will have you courtmartialed for insubordination."

"You won't believe me, Sir."  
"Try me." General's Schaeffer's penetrating gaze made Nelson's knees wobble.

"Very well. You asked for it." General Schaeffer's eyes widened with anticipation. Nelson could no longer hold up under the pressure.

"My wife Jeannie is actually a genie."

"What?" exclaimed General Schaeffer.  
"You know – a genie. She has magical powers." Major Nelson laughed nervously. General Schaeffer kept his eyes remaining fixed upon Major Nelson.

"That explains so much," murmured General Schaeffer. Major Nelson could barely hear him. Finally, he added aloud, "where is Jeannie now?"

"She's at home, I believe."

"Bring her here." At that point, Major Nelson called out "Jeannie! Jeannie!" Suddenly, she popped in. "Yes, Mas –" she started to say but then gasped when she noticed General Schaeffer.

"It's OK, Jeannie," said Major Nelson. "He knows."

"This is amazing," exclaimed General Schaeffer. "Instant teleportation. What else can you do?"

Jeannie looked at her master. "What should I do, Anthony?" she said. She called him Anthony in front of other people instead of Master since their marriage.

"Why don't you lift up that chair?" said Major Nelson. Jeannie folded her arms and blinked. Suddenly, a big comfortable chair rose up four feet into the air. The General was awestruck by the feat. When Jeannie put the chair down, he ordered Major Nelson to tell his Jeannie to send the three of them to the Kennedy Space Center to a storage room where he knew no one would be.

"Why there?" inquired Major Nelson.

"You'll see," said General Schaeffer.

In an instant, they were in a dark and lonely storage room. General Schaeffer opened a closet where a space suit was stored. "Jeannie," he said, "can you transport Major Nelson to the Moon?"

"I don't see why not?" she said.

"Put this on, Major."

"Sir," said Major Nelson, "I don't know if it's a good idea for Jeannie to just blink me to the Moon."

"Why not?" said Schaeffer.

"I believe that the enjoyment of achieving something comes from hard work. How can we be satisfied with just blinking me to the Moon without the years of research and scientific achievements that lead up to a moonshot."

General Schaeffer looked at Major Nelson agape. "That is the dumbest thing I ever heard of," he said. "Major, just think of the scientific knowledge that could be gained from Jeannie's magic. You could go to Mars, even other star systems. I ought to have you court martialed for keeping a secret that could give us such advances."

"I'd like to go home now, sir," said Major Nelson.

"Put on this suit and go to the Moon," commanded General Schaeffer. "That's an order."

Major Nelson reluctantly complied. Jeannie and the General waited while he put on the suit. Once finished, Major Nelson ordered Jeannie to send him to the Moon and bring him back in ten minutes. General Schaeffer couldn't help but be startled when the Major suddenly disappeared at the blink of Jeannie's eye. He looked at her while they waited. He took the opportunity to ask some questions. Jeannie told him how she was trapped in a bottle for 2,000 years until Major Nelson found her on a tropical island after he returned from a space flight. Before she could talk for too long, she reminded General Schaeffer that it was ten minutes and she had to follow her master's command to retrieve him. "I was there," murmured Major Nelson when Jeannie blinked him back. "I was actually on the Moon." He felt exhilarated.

"This is amazing," gasped General Schaeffer. "We could save billions of dollars and do so much more. Jeannie, send him to Mars."

"Go ahead, Jeannie," said Major Nelson eagerly. He was becoming more excited about his travels. "Right away, Master," she said catching his excitement. She was just happy to be pleasing her master. Jeannie blinked him out

After waiting about ten minutes, she blinked Nelson back. Major Nelson popped back in and almost fell over. He removed his helmet panting. "Well, Major?" pleaded Schaeffer anxiously. "What did you see?" Unlike the Moon, nobody knew what the surface of Mars was like. "Were there people? Any signs of life?" the General continued.

"So cold," gasped Major Nelson. "It was all red. Red Rocks. Red sky. There was no life."

"Amazing," said General Schaeffer.

"Now I shall blink you to Venus," said an over eager Jeannie. The two men tried to tell her no but it was too late. "Get him back!" cried General Schaeffer. "Get him back!" Jeannie complied and what came back, to her horror was nothing resembling Major Nelson. Only a small black mass was all that remained.

"Oh my god," gasped General Schaeffer, looking at Nelson's remains. "He was such a fine man."

Of course, Jeannie was shocked. "What happened?" she cried.

"Venus is extremely hot. Even if we sent a spaceship there, it would burn immediately."

"I am sorry, General."

He looked at Jeannie hopefully. He still did not understand the extent of her magical abilities.

"Is there anything you can do?"

"I've got an idea," she said. She blinked and suddenly Major Nelson was talking about his trip to Mars just like a few minutes before.

"What happened?" asked General Schaeffer.

"I simply went back in time to before I sent him to Venus."  
"Before you sent me where?" said Nelson.

"Your powers are simply incredible," said General Schaeffer. "In my lifetime I have seen so many scientific advancements, but I never thought I'd see this. Time travel. Instaneous travel to other planets. Even light takes several minutes to reach Mars." He went to the nearest phone. "I must call the President at once. Major, get out of that spacesuit." He dialed the phone. "This is General Schaeffer from NASA. I must speak to the president at once." After a pause, he continued, "it is an urgent matter of national security. I must speak to him about an incredible breakthrough right away." After another pause, he said "thank you." He looked at Anthony and Jeannie. Suddenly, while still looking at them, he straightened up his posture. "Yes, Mr. President," he said solemnly.

"What the hell do you want?" said an aggravated president.

"Are you alone?" asked General Schaeffer.

"No, as a matter of fact, I am having a meeting with the secretary of state."

"Are you in the Oval Office?"

"No! I'm on the Moon. Of course I'm in the Oval Office."

"That's good…just hang on a second. Jeannie, could you send us all to the Oval Office in the White House?"

"Yes, General," she replied. Jeannie folded her arms and blinked. The president was shocked to find three people magically appear in his office. The secretary of state's horn-rimmed glasses nearly fell off in his startlement.

"What do you think, Mr. President?" asked General Schaeffer.

"How did you get in here?" demanded the president his jowls shaking.

"How does it look like?" replied Schaeffer. "By magic."

"That's preposterous."

"It's real. Let me explain. This man is Major Anthony Nelson."

"The astronaut?"

"Yes. And this is his wife, Jeannie. Her name is not only Jeannie but she is a magical genie."

"Mr. President," said the secretary of state in his deep German accent. "I suggest you call Secret Service immediately.

"Now wait a minute," said the president. "I want some answers from these people first."

"Maybe I can help," said Major Nelson. "Jeannie can do almost anything. Move that desk to the other side of the room, Jeannie."

"Yes, Anthony," she replied as she folded her arms and blinked. Suddenly, the president's desk was on the other side of the Oval Office." Both the president's and secretary of state's mouths were wide open but nothing could come out. "Mr. President, would you like to see Jeannie go into the pencil holder on your desk."

"That's impossible," replied the president. "She could never fit in there."

Nelson gestured with his hand to Jeannie and she complied. She blinked and then she was five inches tall and standing in the cup. "Now how about changing all of our clothes?" Jeannie blinked and then all the men were dressed as cowboys. The president and secretary of state looked at themselves in astonishment. "Hey," said the president. "Get us our clothes back." Jeannie blinked and they all had the same clothes they were wearing before.

"There's just no limit to what she can do," raved the General. "We will save billions on space travel. She has also sent Major Nelson to Mars and Venus. He is the first man to visit Mars and Venus in the same day. Think about that. Astronauts can visit every planet in the Solar System. She might even be able to blink spacecraft to other stars. We haven't tried that yet. I was too excited to tell you about it, Sir. We have only just scratched the surface."

"General Schaeffer," Nixon began. "You are not thinking strategically. Jeannie could wipe out the armies of the Soviet Union. China. North Vietnam. I -We could rule the world." He folded his arms and walked up to Major Nelson. "You ought to be courtmartialed,"

"I don't understand, Mr. President," replied a perplexed Tony.

"You've been with this genie all this time and you didn't even share her with the U.S. armed forces. You are a disgrace to your uniform, Major."

"Well, Sir, I just don't think using magic is the right way to get anything. It can lead to unintended consequences. Believe me, she has used magic over the past several years with me and all kinds of things have gone wrong. I believe it is better to use hard work and perseverance."

"Nonsense. We will bring the Communist world to its knees." The President turned to Jeannie. "We need to use any advantage at our disposal."

"Well, I don't know. General, I think we should be getting back to the Space Center."

"You listen to me, you son of a bitch. The U.S. military does not pay you to think or know. It pays you to follow orders. Now as your commander-in-chief I order both of you to have Jeannie make all weapons of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, People's Republic of China, People's Republic of North Korea, North Vietnam, Cuba and all members of the Warsaw Pact disappear."

"Can you do that, Jeannie?" asked Tony.

"I believe so, Anthony," replied Jeannie. She closed her eyes and lowered her head in concentration. She carefully folded her arms, then lifted her head. With a quick nod, she blinked her eyes with all her energy. She looked at the President. "It is done," she said.

"Fantastic," gasped the President who could hardly believe it. "How can we know for sure?" Jeannie blinked and all five of them were at the Kremlin. They saw Soviet politicians in a panic. They were talking to each other nervously (in Russian of course), some of them on the phone. They couldn't see Jeannie and the four Americans because they were tiny and well hidden. "Jeannie," said Anthony. "Can you understand what they are saying?"

Jeannie, paused a minute and said, "they are wondering what happened to all their weapons. They have no guns, no tanks, no planes, no bombs."

"No nuclear weapons?" asked the Secretary of State.

"None at all," said Jeannie.

"Make us normal size," said the President. "I want them to see us." Jeannie looked at her master. "Do what the President says," he told her.

She blinked and the Russians were shocked to see these people including the President of the United States in the middle of the room. "I did this," the President boasted, "and you will surrender to us or face the consequences. We now control the world!" The President looked at the Major. Now get us back to the White House."

Back in the Oval Office, the President asked the Major, "how do you feel now that Communism is on the verge of collapse?"

Major Anthony Nelson pondered the President's question for a moment. How did he feel? His country had struggled with rival countries for years. Communism had been a problem in the world for a long time as well as a serious threat to the United States. There was always a clear and present danger to the safety and security of his fellow Americans as well as other free people around the world. With the disappearance of the Russian weapons with the blink of Jeannie's eye, he felt a great relief he had never expected. "To be honest, sir," replied Major Nelson, "it feels like a great burden has been lifted from my shoulders." The President gently placed his hand on the astronaut's shoulder. "Mu sentiments exactly, Major," said the President, "my sentiments exactly."

Soon American forces were mobilized all around the world. American and allied European troops of NATO poured into Eastern Europe. Americans and the South Vietnamese army, having been in full retreat, turned the Vietnam War around and soon captured Hanoi. American corporations began to take over state owned enterprises in the Communist countries around the world. Oil companies such as Mobil and Getty were delighted to find new sources to exploit. United Fruit Company began to run rampant in Cuba.

Major Nelson felt growing pride at his accomplishments. Jeannie had helped his country gain power in the World. His President made the strategy but it was Major Nelson who commanded his genie to carry out the magic necessary to fulfill that strategy. At the same time his nationalist pride was growing at what he was achieving, he also began to feel that there was something missing.

One day, the President called Nelson and Jeannie to come to the Oval Office. "I'll get straight to the point," said the President from the desk of the Oval Office. No one else was present but the three of them. "I'm sure you've heard in the news what's going on with my Administration." Major Nelson thought of the Watergate scandal in which the President was now embroiled. "Congress has some tapes which I recorded and which are now being used to incriminate me. I think I know what you got to do."

Jeannie folded her arms and said, "what it is you wish me to do, Master?"

"Now hold on, Jeannie," said Tony. He looked back at the president. "Why should we protect you?"

"I am the President of the United States," bellowed the President.

"Not forever," replied Tony.

"If the Supreme Court orders me to turn over those tapes, I – I could be – be-"

"Is 'impeached' the word you were looking for, Sir?"

"I can't even say the word."

"I don't think that matters much, Sir. Your vice president will take over."  
"The vice president is stupid and clumsy. He's always tripping and banging his head. He could never be president."

"It doesn't matter, Sir. I'm the one calling the shots. You, Mr. President, are irrelevant at this point."

"Now hold on there. Nobody talks to me that way."

"Jeannie, blink us out of here."

"Yes, Master," obeyed Jeannie.

"No wait," said the President , but he was too late. They were gone and he was alone.

Meanwhile, in another part of the World: The deposed general secretary of the now fallen Soviet Union, was in his villa outside of Moscow. He spent most of his days sitting around depressed over the sudden and unexpected loss of control over his own country.

Suddenly, a beautiful young woman appeared before him. She had black hair and wore a dark green Middle Eastern outfit including baggy lacy pants, a small tight vest which exposed her midriff. She wore a pointed hat with veils attached. "Who are you?" said the general secretary in Russian, "what do you want?"

"I want what you want, Daaarling," replied the woman also speaking in Russian (except for the word Daaarling). "I'm here to help you get your country back."

Meanwhile, Major Nelson had become King Nelson. The President of the United States was now conveniently out of the way. The Vice President was unable to take office when Nelson seized power. Anybody who objected to Nelson becoming King of the World found themselves chained in a dungeon or hanging onto the top of the Empire State Building for dear life. Otherwise, they would wind up on Mount Everest.

Jeannie finally got what she always wanted – to serve her Master providing him with infinite power and riches. She even started calling him Master again. She only started calling him Anthony when they got married to keep up their façade. Now everybody knew she was a genie and bowed down before them.

Nelson realized how satisfying his new lifestyle could be. He wondered how he could have been so foolish that he lived with a genie but never took advantage of all she had to offer. The whole world feared the couple As a token of friendship, Nelson made his old friend, Major Roger Healey, duke of Canada.

The general secretary of the Soviet Union was not quite ready to give up power. Soon, Jeannie's sister, her greatest rival, used some magic and gave the Russian new weapons, Once he realized who she was and why she was there, he knew what to do. He called Nelson on the red phone. Through his trusty translator, he told him to surrender his country. Nelson laughed and said, "are you sure you're translating the general secretary right? Or, should I say, the deposed general secretary?" They hung up. The general secretary told Jeannie's sister to make the entire U.S. army disappear. She folded her arms and blinked. She said, "it is done, Daaarling."

The general secretary immediately got on the phone and ordered a first strike with the nuclear weapons Jeannie's sister returned to them. He wanted to strike the United States first before Jeannie had a chance to replace them.

Nelson was in Florida enjoying a round of golf. He was thinking how nice his life was now, being the ruler of the world. While he putted, he noticed a bright light shine in the distance. A secret service agent came running up to him. "Lord Nelson," he panted, "we are under attack. Nuclear explosions all over the United States. New York, Washington, Los Angeles, all destroyed. Our military facilities, our own nuclear weapons, all gone!"

"How is this possible?" cried Nelson. "Jeannie! Jeannie!" Jeannie popped wearing her pink Jeannie outfit. "Yes, Master," she said.

"How is possible we are being attacked with nuclear bombs?" Nelson scolded. "I thought you got rid of all nuclear weapons except our own."

"I did," replied Jeannie. "Another genie must be involved."

"Of course," said Nelson. "That explains Brezhnev's call."

"I'll bet it's my evil sister."

"Jeannie, here's what I want you to do. Blink up a thousand new hydrogen bombs and send them to Russia. Destroy every city and their entire military. I'll teach them."

"Yes, Master." Jeannie folded her arms and blinked. In a few minutes, Moscow and other Soviet cities were destroyed. Nelson got into Marine One, the president's helicopter along with his secret service. They began flying around to assess the damage. They could see Miami or what was left of it. Miami was nothing but a smoldering pile of rubble. They moved up the coast. Along the way, away from the cities, they could see survivors. When people looked up and saw the presidential helicopter they booed and shook their fists in the air. Some people showed their middle fingers in contempt of what Nelson had done. It was a sobering moment for Nelson. "What would you like me to do, Master," inquired Jeannie. Nelson said nothing. He looked out the window staring into his post-apocolyptic country as they continued northward. There was either destruction of cities, buildings, homes or his own reputation. Finally, Nelson said, "blink this helicopter up to Washington, DC." Jeannie complied.

The helicopter appeared over the destroyed city. "Where is the White House?"

"I believe it was over there, Sir," said one of the secret service agents. Nelson started to discern the shape of the Washington Mall surrounded by piles of rubble which were the Smithsonian. At the end were a few remaining pillars where the Capitol Building once stood. Jeannie said, "I can rebuild everything, Master." Tony had been staring out the window dejectedly for the entire flight. "It will be all right, Master," she continued. "Just give me the word." Tony continued to stare out of the window.

"I can go back in time and we can start over," Jeannie added. "I could get rid of the Russians." She waited for Tony's response.

"What's the point?" he muttered in a barely audible voice. Finally, Tony looked at Jeannie for the first time since they took this flight. He had been looking dejectedly out of the window the whole time. He said, "I want you to make everything the way it was."

"Yes, Master," replied Jeannie, eagerly folding her arms ready to blink.

"I want it exactly the way it was. Bring the buildings back. Bring the cities back. Bring the people back. You can do these things, right, Jeannie?"

"I believe so."

"And I want the Vice President to take over as president. He will probably want to run for election in 1976. And make Brezhnev the leader of the Soviet Union again."

"I will try."

"Now listen very carefully, Jeannie. I want you to restore the Soviet Union. Give all countries their militaries back. Make everything as it was before. I don't want anything from after we changed the World. Do you understand, Jeannie?"

"I do not know if I could do that, Master," replied Jeannie.

"Why not?" asked Tony. "There has never been anything you couldn't do as long as I've known you."

"This is different, Master. I would have to change the whole world at once. I've got it! I will take us back in time to before this all started."

"No, I don't want to go back in time. I'm afraid the consequences could be worse. Just try to do what I commanded."

"Yes, Master," answered Jeannie with a more serious tone to her voice. She clasped her hands and closed her eyes in deep concentration. She pictured the whole world, all the countries as they were then and as they were before. She opened her eyes and folded her arms outward in front of her chest. With a nod of her head, she blinked hard.

And so, Jeannie did everything exactly as Tony commanded. All was restored as it was before. Tony relinquished power to the governments of the World. He went home to Cocoa Beach, Florida with Jeannie. Then, the leaders of the World got together to make a new peace treaty. Nelson, Jeannie and her sister joined the World leaders for a grand summit in Switzerland. They established a new Geneva Convention against genie warfare. The genies agreed never to interfere in world affairs again even with the best of intentions. Then, the world leaders all denounced Tony Nelson for causing such destruction in the first place. The media soon dubbed the treaty the Genie-va Convention.

Back at Cocoa Beach, Tony just moped around the house. Not only was he kicked out of the space program, he was dishonorably discharged from the Air Force. He was stripped of his officer's commission. Everybody hated him for what he did to the World even though Jeannie finally restored it. The Americans especially hated him for returning power to the USSR. Even Roger Healey wouldn't speak to him. The only one who remained devoted to him was Jeannie.

The only way the Nelsons survived was that Tony let Jeannie use her magic to put food on the table. She blinked him enough money to pay utilities, taxes, insurance and other ordinary needs. This way, neither of them ever had to leave the house and face the angry public.

One day, soon after that, Tony and Jeannie were sitting together after dinner. He said to Jeannie, "I can't take it anymore."

"What do you want me to do, Master?" said Jeannie stroking Tony's hair.

"Everything is back the way it was, but I don't think even your magic can make me the way I was. I will never be the same again."

"It will be all right, Master."

"No, it won't. I went against everything I believed in. I became exactly what I tried to avoid all these years. This is why I never wanted to use your magic. And why I didn't want anybody to know about you. My worst fears have happened. Everything was fine when I kept you secret. Once I could no longer hide your powers, that's when it all changed."

"We don't have to take over the World again, Master."

"I just don't even want to be me anymore." He looked into Jeannie's eyes. "I have one more wish I want you to grant me."

"Anything, Master."

"I want to be a completely different person. With a completely different life. I don't want to even remember being Anthony Nelson again. I only want to be some other person, somewhere else."

Jeannie thought about her master's request deeply for a minute and then thought of the perfect solution. She smiled and gave Tony a big hug and passionate kiss. "I will always love you, Master," she said.

"I love you more than anything in the world," said Tony.

Jeannie folded her arms. With a tear in her eye, she said, "good-bye, Master." She blinked.

In a moment, he was waking up in bed. He turned to his wife next to him started putting his arms around her, kissing her neck. "How 'bout it, Darlin'", he said.

"Not now, J.R." she said. "I have a terrible headache."

"That's what happens when you drink so much, Sue Ellen!"


End file.
